Be

Beautiful…what does this word mean to you? In our society, beauty is seen thru external perfected imagery. From airbrushed models in magazines, to lớn perfectly casted commercials and flawlessly edited social truyền thông posts. It’s no wonder how beauty has become defined by outward appearance. My question is this, “How bởi vì we take off our tainted lenses of preconceived external acceptance và see the true beauty illuminating within each of us?”

This post is about my personal inward journey; I am 36 years old and just now awakening to who I authentically am. Meaning, I am stripping myself of all self-imposed labels that I’ve thought define me. I am letting go of who I once dreamed to be…as my dreams were not from my heart but from my head. I can say this; I have always felt like a free spirit that doesn’t quite fit in lớn the normalcy. So I’ve adapted, shapeshifted & molded myself into lớn what I thought would be accepted – I was choosing to lớn lead with my mind. There is much falsity that resides in this eggoic head space; it’s full of deception, fear and judgement. Though I sensed I was being accepted & heard; I never really was. People can’t love you fully, see you entirely and accept you with respect until you show up as your authentic, soul embodied self. As I’m writing this, I ask myself why it has taken this long lớn awaken lớn the discernment between expectations và truth. I thought that perhaps by sharing my personal navigation inlớn self-love, this might resonate with some. And even if it doesn’t, somehow this post is a part of my growth, putting it all out there to speak my truth. 

I’d like khổng lồ chia sẻ some of my background, as a good chunk of my life was all based on outward image. There was an impactful time in my life when a big shift happened. It was the summer of 1992; I recently had my braces removed & celebrated my 12th birthday. That summer I also experienced a significant growth spurt; I went from 5’7 khổng lồ 5’10 in three months. All of a sudden I hugged my Mom & she was shorter than I…it was an odd felling. Later in the summer I started middle school, 7th grade. I would walk down the hallways to class và towered over all of the kids; I felt all eyes on me…I stuông chồng out lượt thích a sore thumb! I actually would hunch over trying lớn “fit in” & not be noticed. I felt very insecure và self-conscious, both physically and emotionally. Ironically one afternoon at the mall, my Mom was approached by someone asking if I might have an interest in modeling. I couldn’t believe it, as I never envisioned myself as “beautiful”. I didn’t think much of it at the time but my Mom did. She could see that I was struggling in school & wasn’t involved in sports or other activates, so she asked me, “Are you interested in modeling?” I rethành viên thinking, I bởi vì love sầu fashion và I’m not doing anything else, why not give sầu it a shot. Though I also remember fear coming thru & asking myself, “Can I handle the rejection or can I live up lớn the high perfection standards?”

That fall at 12 years old, I signed with a modeling agency in Las Vegas. I did my first phokhổng lồ shoot và felt odd & super intimidated. I also had my first runway casting for Niemen Marcus, to my surprise I booked it! Brooke Shields was a guest model in the fashion show; I was beyond excited và nervous at the same time. While rehearsing for the runway show I worked with a wonderful man who would be my mentor for years to come, David Cordoza. He took me under his wing và taught me every runway walk you could imagine, và this is an understatement – “no one could walk better in stilettos then David!” Before I knew it, I was working constantly in print and runway in Vegas & LA. I had to lớn start home page schooling because I had too many absences at public school from working. Honestly, I loved being trang chính schooled because I never felt accepted in school. Also I never have been the scholastic type. As I started the trang chính correspondence testing, I found out I had a learning disability, I am dyslexic. After being diagnosed with Dyslexia, I had clarity on why I always felt so confused in class and struggled with reading, testing, etc. Thankfully I found this out and I actually applied myself to lớn read more & came khổng lồ an understanding, “I’m not dumb, I just learn differently”. My mom was very supportive sầu & never made me feel “less than”… in fact, she encourages me khổng lồ see the good in Dyslexia. This is my gift khổng lồ experience life as being quality & not lượt thích everyone else.

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Three years inkhổng lồ my modeling career I had signed with multiple agencies in LA, NY, & Miami. My Mom gave me strong guidance and fundamental tools to treat my career as my own business. Though modeling wasn’t a true passion of mine, I learned so much about fashion, it created travel opportunities và taught me how to stay grounded & rooted in my core values. Working in a superficially based industry can lead you down many different paths. Honestly I saw so much self-destruction with others; I think it scared me enough lớn keep me on the straight and narrow.

One of my favorite cities that I worked in was San Francisco, I moved there at 18. I ended up living in SF for a year, enjoyed the balance of work and exploration of the charismatic thành phố. In 1999 I decided to move sầu baông xã trang chủ lớn Arizona where my parents where living. AZ is where I meet my husb& Ben – I was 19 years old; he was a hairstydanh sách. Flash forward 17 years và we are still together và just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary…oh what a journey it has been! Ben has a beautiful daughter named Sierra, she was 6 when I meet her & is now is a successful & thriving 23 year old living in CA. I married Ben when I was 22, it was comforting lớn put my energy inlớn my family vs just career. Into my mid 20’s modeling just wasn’t feeling right anymore, I was tired of extreme dieting & having to look a certain way for others. I found myself yearning for more challenge, creativity và lớn work from within.

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At 27, I decided to lớn retire from the modeling industry – I can’t describe how freeing it was khổng lồ “let go” of my modeling career. Yet I’d be lying if I didn’t also nói qua how fearful it was khổng lồ shift my energy into unchartered territory of simply “being” Stacey. Modeling was all I knew, it paid my bills và gave me a sense of purpose for 15 years.

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I had a potential new business opportunity that would support my transition from modeling inkhổng lồ entrepreneurship. My Mom, Donna Hansen had been hand-crafting our family toffee and selling at local farmers markets. I worked with her in production and sales during the busy holidays. I presented lớn her my interest to grow and expvà the toffee br&. Neither of us knew what we were getting into lớn but working together was a win, win! 9 years later we are still in the biz of making toffee; our company is called Goodytwos Toffee Company. We’ve had the pleasure khổng lồ be featured on the cooking channel show called Food Crafters.

“”Our toffee is h& crafted with a double dose of vitamin L-O-V-E… our cure for the comtháng toffee”.

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So here I am today, writing a blog post for my travel/lifestyle blog that I created in the fall of năm ngoái. The irony in my bog is that I am tapping into lớn and exposing my feeling of inadequacy due lớn my dyslexia…writing! My little blog has created a space for me to cốt truyện freely và shine from within.

“It’s time khổng lồ honor my imperfections, allow my quirkiness to lớn show thru it’s own beauty & lớn own it”!


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